Recently when posting a photo of our home, I was sent a few emails criticising me for the way my house is kept, yep, you heard that right, criticising me for the way my house is kept. I was really upset in the moment, like I had done something to make someone feel less than themselves, which is never my intention, my whole life is committed to helping others, especially women, to feel empowered. On this day, International Womens Day, I wanted to share the team I have behind me, helping me to create The Builder’s Wife. I do not do all I do on my own, nor have I ever hidden that fact. So today I would like to share my team, in the hope of showing you I am a strong woman who relies on the help of others to get me through.
The Team Behind The Builder’s Wife
Genevieve Our Cleaner
Genevieve has been with us for at least 5 years, she knows our family like the back of her hand. I have had cleaners for as long as I can remember, in fact I think any family where both parties are working should have a cleaner. Not only does it get the job done, it helps with the equality in our home. Having Genevieve come to our home weekly means we are not fighting over who’s turn it is to do the cleaning, or the ironing. Initially Gena came fortnightly, and did the bathrooms, floors and kitchen. Recently, as my work load began to expand, we increased her time her to weekly. One week a fortnight for 6-8 hours and the other for 3-5 depending on how much ironing we have built up.
I simply could not work on as many projects as I do without her, she is the grease that keeps our family running. I work very hard and believe in sharing where I can, in doing this not only is Gena helping our family, we help her by providing her a well paid and regular job.
Paul Our Gardener
Paul only joined our family last month,he is a gem in the garden, and with so much yard and 4 kids playing sport all weekend, I needed some help to get the weeds under control. Paul will be joining us monthly for some maintenance and will help on a few bigger projects as the time comes around. The 2 elder boys still mow the lawn and The Builder and I tidy the hedges and play with planting etc on a fortnightly basis, because we love it!
Gabi Our Bookkeepper
Gabi has also been with us for the last 5 years. Gabi is responsible for the BAS each quarter. I HATE PAPERWORK, but Gabi loves it! Perfect compromise for us, I can handle the data entry, and Gabi is happy to do the more involved stuff. This frees me up to do the one hundred other jobs in the business that need to be done. We are in the process of discussing hiring a school mum to come in and help us with the data entry as we are starting to get so busy even this is becoming a struggle. I am happy to share the load with this kind of work, I feel stifled in the office, I need to be more creative than paperwork will allow me to be.
Miss 19
Miss 19 is awaiting her acceptance into the Queensland Police Force, while she undertakes the process of the application, she is only working part time. Part time work does not provide much money for a 19 year old, who is expected to pay her own way in life. Once she finished school, it was our expectation as a family that Miss 19 begin to pay board, we also expect all our children to purchase their own cars and pay the running costs. Money was a little short each week for Miss 19, and as I was so often running out of time, we negotiated a deal in which she would do our weekly baking, vacuum the floors twice weekly, and hang out the washing whenever she is home. For this, she no longer needs to pay board, a perfect compromise for us all.
Master 11, Miss 13, Master 13 and Master 14
Our kids are really helpful, they all understand how much work it takes to run a large family and all pitch in to help cook dinner, or hang our washing, feed the animals or just about anything else we need done. Each of our kids are heavily involved in sport, this takes a LOT of time and a big commitment from The Builder and I to ensure they get where they need, when they need, in order for this to happen the kids need to help.
We have times, when like any other teenagers they hate helping but for the most part, each of us understands our roles in the family.
The Builder
I could not work without the help of The Builder, as busy as he is, without his support, I simply could not get much done. From helping with the washing or the shopping to cooking dinner, he is as invested in our family as I am. We work together as a team to keep our family running as smoothly as possible.
I am blessed to have a large team behind me, please know that yes my house is always clean, and after long thought, I am more than OK with that. I am also OK with however you chose to keep your home, you live there I don’t. I don’t do this alone, I have much help, and am also OK with that. I hope that The Builder’s Wife community is one of support and understanding, one in which we are here to build each other up, not find fault or be offended by the position of another.
Who’s got your back? How big is your team?
Nicole xxx
Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT
Happy International Women’s Day! I can’t believe you were criticized on the state of your home? I think it’s beautiful. I also love that you’ve shared how much of a team effort it is to do what you do. Maggie has just come in and seen the photo of your family on the screen and asked if the kids in the photo are your friends? So cute. You have a beautiful family, stunning home and a fab blog – don’t let the criticism get to you. xx
Oh Miss Maggie, how sweet you are. xx
Thank you Bec, I’ve managed to block this one out of my mind, well for the most part. I am proud of my home, and more than happy to keep it tidy. I couldn’t do it without my team xx
Some people must have too much time on their hands if they sent you emails to criticise how clean your house is!
Good on you for working hard and having a lovely home and family.What a great team you’ve built around you for support to enable you to achieve all the things you do!
We should all be supporting each other not criticising!
Totally agree Ingrid! Support is best for all. Let’s build one another up!! Thank you for your kind words xx
5 kids! Wow – go you!!
Thank you!! xx
Happy International Women’s Day! I can’t believe that anyone would criticise your home, because a) it’s fabulous and b) even it it wasn’t fabulous, the state of your home is no business of theirs. This reminds me of that quote “Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back.” Yay you!
That quote is so true Sammie!! Without my tribe, there is no way I would manage much at all!! I love that I am able to share around what I do, and therefore free up a little of my time, and help others. That’s the circle isn’t it? Thank you for your kindness xxx
Criticise you for a gorgeous home? Criticise? How about heaping praise and feeling inspired by it instead.
Thanks for sharing your team.
I didn’t understand it either, which is why I am always honest about my ‘team’. I couldn’t do it without them. xx
Happy International Womens Day and it’s lovely to meet the team behind you. I’m appalled that you got emails criticising your beautiful home, especially that it’s clean, some people will just never be happy and that’s all about them not you.
I agree Vicki! I hope by sharing my team that person can feel better about themselves. I could not do what I do without them xx
Happy International Women’s Day Nicole. I really enjoyed reading this post and meeting your lovely team! Such a gorgeous photo of you, the builder and the kids! I cannot believe anyone would criticize the way your home is kept. It is just so stunningly gorgeous! I think it is fantastic that you recognise the chores that you need help with and outsource accordingly. Hats off to you too that the kids all do their bit! ? xo
Happy Women’s day to you too! That photo is such an old one now, and even though it’s blurry, I love it! It’s one of my favouites. I’m a bit believer in everyone doing their bit xx
P.S your little furry visitor on the weekend, was just so CUTE!!
Oh Nic, haters gonna hate. You work tirelessly for your family and anyone who criticises that is really just projecting their own insecurities onto you. You and Adam and your beautiful children deserve every success.
A good leader delegates because they recognise that their skills and time are better used elsewhere.
Try not to take it to heart. The keyboard warriors come with success xo
Aww Thank you Angie. I am no stranger to criticism, and for the most part it doesn’t bother me. My biggest concern was how I must have made this poor woman feel, hopefully by sharing my team, and how much they help, she can feel more valid in herself. xx
well done Nicole, of course you need help, you are a Partner in a Business, you can’t be expected to do all, with a family of 7. On this Purple Day for International Women’s Day, I Volunteer once a week at a Kindergartedn because I’m Retired and Because I have been Volunteering for over 25 years, because I Love Children. so today I shall wear my Purple clothing with pride and I will come home to my retired husband on an off Golf day, and we will be preparing our Day Tours for our upcoming trip to Hawaii, after he has been to Gym, made the bed and unpacked the dishwasher, and a quick vac of the floors, Still say behind each man is a good woman, but Oh so precious are Men in our lives, have a great day Nicole and Adam and family
Aww Mrs P, you and Mr P are great role models for Adam and I. The love you share and then share with the others around you is inspiring. so many benefit from you strength. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and for sharing your thoughts xxx
My husband has my back. Because he can’t work, he takes care of the house and yard, even though his mobility isn’t always up to it. All I have to do is tell him what time I’m getting home and he’ll have dinner ready. It’s an amazing level of support. People freak out at the “he doesn’t work” part and don’t see all that he does for me, even people close to us. It’s a bit sad sometimes, actually!
I LOVE this, furthermore, I think the Builder would love it more. He has long said his dream is to support us on the home front. xx
I think that is crazy someone would take the time and effort to complain about your clean house. I think its so important that as people (Not just women) we enpower each other, and don’t let others success make us feel inferior.
Well said Sarah, we should all be helping each other up! xx
I am seriously in shock that someone would bother to email you and criticise? seriously, they must have nothing better to do. I really dislike keyboard warriors – would they ever say it to your face? No!
Well done on acknowledging your team and tribe – how fabulous! There is seriously not enough hours in the day for you to both fit full time work, 5 kids and a household in. Well done on embracing and outsourcing help – cheers to your sanity now:)!
xxx
Me too! Such a small thing to be upset about, or at least I think so. I love my team, I am so very blessed to be able to share my load. xx
Criticise you? what for? Having a clean house? using outside help? I don’t get it but take it with a grain of salt. My house is always tidy and I often feel like I have to apologise or pretend I have a cleaner when other mums come over because it makes them feel lousy and inadequate that I keep my place so neat (which is not my intention at all). Im a busy stay at home mum who suffers from anxiety which means I need routine and structure in my life otherwise I feel like I can’t function at my best. Having a neat house and being dressed neatly somehow reduces the anxiety I feel. I don’t know why, it just does. I don’t do it to be super woman, nor to one up other mothers. I certainly don’t care whether other mums houses are messy when I visit, in fact I often envy them. Having things neat makes me feel “together” and lessens my anxiety. Quite frankly its exhausting living day to day like this and i often wish I could let it all go. But I can’t. If you have a tribe to help you, thats great! If you don’t and your place is a mess because you have other priorities, thats great too! Don’t ever compare yourself to others….and be kind always. we are all fighting our own battles.
It was the whole clean house thing that was offensive. I really don’t understand why. I really understand your anxiety, that is precisely why it took me several cleaners and a few years to get my balance right. I cannot function in a disorganised or unclean space. You’ve made me feel so normal today, thank you xxx
Goodness I hope that what I said didn’t come across as criticism I am incredibly jealous of your beautiful home and honestly if I had a beautiful home I had worked incredibly hard to bring back to life I would keep it looking spectacular too. I try very hard to keep a tidy and clean home but sometimes I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle against everyone else I live with!
Good for you for recognising that you can’t do it all and getting in the help where you need it. When I was living with my folks and doing my uni degree I had the same deal I had to clean the house weekly and pretty much do the odd jobs including take my grandfather to appointments etc so that I didn’t have to pay board.
Not all all Cathy! Quite the contrary, I received a couple of direct emails about how I keep my house, they were not at all pleasant.
I understand your battle totally! It is so difficult to do it all, especially when you have to fight the battle on your own, which is why I have my team.
We are all on our own journeys, we need to respect each other, just as you and I do xx
Wait. What?! How RIDICULOUS. I know this happens though because I have one friend in particular who treats my tidy house as a direct affront to her ownhousekeeping, and it’s nothing of the sort. LOL. I don’t give a shit what other people’s houses look like. I just like tidy spaces.
You are so right – the way I run my life is not a comment on yours, dear hater. I like a tidy house, I like sewing my own clothes and I like being able to feed people at the drop of a hate. Leave me alone!
YES, I have another couple of friends who take it the same way! But many more that are not offended by it at all! Can’t we all just get to a space of understanding each other, rather than judging each other?!! I love tidy too!
Wow, some people have far too much time on their hands. Instead of emailing you about your tidy home, they could have tidied theirs!
YES YES YES!!!!
Seriously? What is wrong with people. I have been criticised for sewing my own clothes and baking – sickening, some people have said(only half joking). Um, what business of yours is it what I do with my time or how I run my life and my home. I don’t get it.
I’m a big fan of help around the home – we both work full time and if I had to clean the bathrooms as well there would be a divorce on our hands.
Go you!
Oh…..you…..sew…..your……..own……clothes?
I don’t think we can be blogging mates anymore………………..
I think now we have to be great friends!!!!
Help around the home is great, doing great things for yourself and your family is also great, don’t know why some other people don’t get that. xx
Seriously! Some people need to get out from behind their keyboards! You are a truly amazing woman and cousin and what they say is just jealousy. Keep smiling Nic and we will come and visit you soon xxx
Thank you xx
Happy IWD. Thanks for sharing how you manage things. I am so sorry that someone felt the need to criticise you- really we need more people honouring “live and let live”. Xxx
Live and let live, perfect! xx
Happy international women’s day sweetie. I think those who criticise others have a case of jealousy. Your home is beautiful and so is your family xx
Thank you Beck, much love to you xxx
Happy International Women’s Day. It sounds like you have got all the wheels in motion for things to run smoothly (well most of the time)! Credit to you for being so organised, for working out an equitable share of what needs to be done and getting help when you need it. As someone who lets the housework slip (as a working Mum) then has a burst of craziness to get it all clean again, I can really appreciate your sense of order. And it is important to your business to have a home that represents what you want for your clients (especially after all your hard renovating work). So great job explaining how you make it wall work, and sorry if you felt you needed to justify to those who criticise.
You’ve actually made a really good point that I didn’t make in my post. My home is my business, it needs to be ready for a client to drop by just about any time, this is a big motivating factor behind why it is clean all the time. Add into that, my need to feel organised and clutter and mess is just not something I can cope with. Thank you for your kind words xxx
What a great team you have behind you. As they say, it takes a village… and not only to raise a family! And to whoever criticized you, urgh!!
Absolutely! I am unlucky not to have family who are able to help me, but I am also lucky to be able to put my own support crew in place. Win, win as I see it xx
Firstly, I am in awe of all that you do as a parent, wife, business woman and blogger. How do you fit it all in? To me you epitomise what IWD means – what a great role model and person you are. I’m sad to hear some sad and jealous people critised your much-loved home, it’s them that need a tidy up not your home!! You are totally going places. Love to you Nic xx
Emily, you made me cry! Thank you, how kind of you to share that with me. I love what I do, and am a firm believer that is how I manage to put one foot in front of the other. Thank you Em, big love to you my friend xxx
What a team you have!!!! I love that you have such great support behind you and that you all work together. I think it’s gorgeous that you consider your cleaner and gardener part of your family. Do you think Genevieve would like to become a member of my family too? ? Anyway, don’t let those haters get you down. They’ve clearly got nothing better to do and are unhappy in their own lives. We all know what an inspiration you are and how hard you work to empower women in business and the trades x
Thank you Renee, you are so kind. Genevieve would be as happy in your family as in mine, in actual fact she might strongly prefer your gorgeous girls, to my hormonal teenagers! xxx
I want a cleaner so badly! Some people love to get outraged by anything these days, it’s way more of a reflection on them than on you! I hate to think what they would say about my house and I work from home part-time so there is no excuse for it being as messy as it is some days (are two preschoolers a good excuse for my laziness, do you think, lol!).
#teamIBOT
wow how rude! If that person had used the time they spent emailing you in such an assholey way, they could have maybe done something around their own home to make them feel less insecure. Lovely to meet the full crew hun. You have a beautiful family xx
OMG – I can’t believe you would get such emails. Life’s use and we live in REAL homes, not magazine pictures. Keep up the posts – clean and messy ?
DEfinitely think a cleaner is a great idea, trouble is the hubster would run around cleaning everything BEFORE the cleaner came because he would be embarrassed for them to see what piggy messes he makes LOL
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