The last few weeks have been a time of reflection for our family. Our business is taking a new direction, and personally this then has some follow-on effects. These decisions have provided time and space for reflection on things we haven’t really given space to before.
One of those has been our kids feelings about where we live and other alternatives. The children have all stated on many occasions how much they love our house and how proud they are of what we have done here, so we never thought to dive into their thoughts too much further.
Given this recent space to consider where we are, we had a conversation with 2 of our boys about where we are headed, and surprisingly both preferred the lifestyle we had on acreage. This came as a huge shock to both The Builder and myself. We knew they all loved living on the land, but we had thought we understood that being so far from friends and typical teenage “stuff” had them preferring to be on our smaller block in the City.
Obviously, this has given us even more to consider. I love our home, I always thought it would be our forever home, but I do love our kids more. Consideration must be given to what they want for this period in their lives, especially as we are in a position to give that consideration.
So, in the last week, we have begun throwing around the idea of passing our dear Pen Y Llechwedd on to her next custodians. It is a MASSIVE decision and not one we are taking lightly, but it is on the table.
My question to you, is how important are the memories you made in your childhood home? Does the home itself play a part in those memories, or was it simply who you shared it with and the experiences you had there?
While I did enjoy the luxury of veggie gardens and chickens, and I’d love the opportunity to put my stamp on another home, I am not sure how I feel about the prospect of moving. Now I just need to weight that up with what the kids and The Builder want and need.
Would you like to be the next custodian of Pen Y Llechwedd? Are you on acreage? Would you like to be? Care to make me an offer?
Oh it’s so hard, isn’t it? I’m a city girl and always have been so acreage would not be for me and Pen Y Llechwedd would always get my vote. Growing up we lived in one flat for 16 years and then moved around every couple of years. It’s funny because I have some amazing memories but they’re not about the home per se, they’re about the people I made those memories with, Whatever you guys decide to do, I hope you choose option happy!
I think the people are key! We have a great family unit and I love being able to have a choice about what to do next. x
What a tough decision considering how much work and love you’ve put into your home. Still, it’s just a home. I can’t wait to see what’s on the horizon for you.
Thank you Renee, I would miss our Pen Y, but a new challenge could be exciting too. xx (I think ? )
I personally think it is about the people and experiences. Each house (or apartment in my NYC raised experience) can be made into a wonderful place to live so I am not too attached to homes. The question is what is the vision for family life for this stage? Good luck deciding hon. Am sure whatever you do it will be a fabulous journey.
Thank you for your perspective. I do think the families happiness must come first. xx
I spent a chunk of my lovely childhood in a house double the size of Pen Y Llechwedd, an Edwardian beauty which my workaholic parents spent years restoring. I have fantastic memories of that time but really its about my family and the animals we had there that still makes me smile, 40 years on. Go with what makes your family happy.
Wow Sarah, what a privilege that must have been. I agree, the families happiness must come first x
Wow, it’s a big decision to make! Hope you can have some wisdom and clarity, and courage to go ahead with whatever you decide.
Thank you very much. xx
I lived in a lot of houses growing up, so I can’t really speak to the attachment to place as where things happen. I think memories and photos are ok – places are never really static over our lives, especially the older we get.
I’d love to live on acreage. I don’t like how close my suburban neighbours are to me. But I don’t think it’s practical for us, which makes me a bit sad.
We had spoken about moving once the kids leave home, we would really like to live by the beach, perhaps there is now a move in between, which I am warming to. xx
When I was a child, we moved quite a few times to different houses and to be honest, the house or the location really didn’t bother me. As long as I was with my family, that’s all that mattered. I guess you have to make a decision that’s right for all of you and your current needs.
Absolutely! I have always been a one house kind of girl, but the needs of the kids are just as important as my own. Great to have your perspective. Good time for reflection. x
Kids are funny sometimes and a lot like adults. They probably remember the roaming around etc from the acreage but forget the time spent by you ferrying them from place to place. I am not sure how old the boys are that like that lifestyle but I do know that if you move the people that will be impacted the most when they realise they actually want to be in town with their mates will be you and the Builder. Hazey and I would like to move South (ok mostly me) closer to my parents (plus we could get a lot more house for our money – hopefully the gap will stay the same in that their prices won’t overtake ours if that makes sense) but our three are adamant they want to stay close to their current schools. They could commute back to the schools if they wanted but I also know that the weekends would be mostly spent driving the kids back and forth from down South to where we are now, which is absolutely not what I want for the weekends.
So for now we will stay put. We don’t want to do too much to our house because we know that it will really be a knockdown for anyone who buys it. So we will just sit tight. Good luck with all the decisions that you need to make xox
They most definitely do not remember the hours Mum had to spend in the car, not at all! It’s only my miserable recollections for that time. That said, when we made the decision to move here, we never really consulted them, which I think now was a mistake. While I certainly do not want to be back to hours in the car, I am keen for a new project, we just now need to look seriously at how we balance it all. xx
Wow that’s a big decision, but a home is only a home if we make it that way. I’m sure you could make a wonderful home anywhere you choose. What a big decision, I support I’m prone to take a long term view of things, but then again I have only moved twice in my whole life so what do I know. I get so attached to homes. I just need a big cash windfall to move where I want to – a nice acreage block not far from the beach with a view of the ocean and mountains, is that too much to ask?? Much love x
That is my idea of perfection Em! I love the beach and feel that we will move to the beach once the kids leave home. They are all in high school now, so no moving school for them anymore. xx
That is a huge decision. In your case, you know your family well but here’s my take. Kids grow up and move on ( you know that already) and it will be you two who are ‘at home’. What do you two want to do? Personally we made a choice too late in our kids’ lives and we did move to a bigger/better place where in actual fact, no-one felt quite at home and with a decline in my husband’s health we ended up having to sell. I would be thinking more about what YOU two want rather than the kids. But you know your family best. Good luck.
Denyse #teamIBOT
Thanks Denyse, it sure is a big decision. It’s hard to balance the needs and the wants for kids as teenagers. Mostly I want them to want to be at home, (but not for too long:))I know what they are up to here and there really isn’t any space for them to entertain without annoying the house or the neighbours. Lot’s to think about. xx
Wow! Sounds like you’re at a big crossroads.
We have brought our four babies home to four different houses. We settled into our current home in 2015 and I really don’t EVER want to leave. We love our neighbourhood and have a good land size which is close to the city. I’m pulling up stumps!
We thought we had found our forever house too, but itchy feet seem to be prevalent for the family ?
Hi Nicole,
I’m sure the right choice will appear in good time – best wishes. Charmaine ?
Thank you Charmaine xx
I’d love to live in your beautiful home! Mum and dad are still in the same house I grew up in. But because both the house and I have changed so much, it feels very different in my memories.
That’s a great reflection Robyna, thank you for sharing!
Oh my! Your house would feel like one of you’re babies I’m sure. Tough decision but I’ve never heard of anyone looking back leaving a house when exciting prospects are ahead. We built our dream house on the farm and LOVE it. Can’t wait to finish it off one day. We often joke the retirement move will be on an acreage block (so Farmer can still tinker about) and seaviews for my love of ocean views. We’ll see xx
I would love to live near the ocean! That would be enough to pull me away. There are days I would love to live on a farm again. xx
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