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Dear Mr Bogan, It’s 2016

Dear Mr Bogan, Thank you so very much for ruining my day. I was having a wonderful day until you saw fit, to interrupt it. Tell me what is it that made you think it would be ok to treat me like a f@#King dog ready to round up the sheep? I’ve spent years dealing with my issues, I’ve packed my emotions into a neat little dealt with box, and here you are with your lude whistle unpacking it.
Mr Bogan, this is 2016! Women have not liked to be whistled at for 50 years. This time of equality does not mean I wish for you to treat me the way you want to be treated. I do not wish to be leered at and made to feel uncomfortable, in fact 99% of women never want to be made to feel this way and if they do, I am sure they will give you permission before you act.

Who are you? Why do you think when I don’t respond to your whistle, that calling out my name is going to make me feel any more comfortable, and then seeing me later in the store, you think that doesn’t make me feel scared. Clearly the confused look on my face, and the fact I all but ran away from you would be the red flag to let you know I don’t know who you are.
It’s true, I choose to work in a male dominated industry and so far I have been blessed not to feel too uncomfortable too many times, but I am floored today to have had this happen in somewhere as public as a major hardware shop. Let me say again this is 2016.
Now I am sure your intention was never to have me panicking and calling my husband to come and protect me, I am sure you never intended for me to be shaking for hours after you did this, or for the crying that followed, but what I don’t understand is what exactly you expected from this all? The truth is I didn’t expect these reactions either. So long ago I had dealt with this neat little package.
Did we know each other in a previous time in our lives? Surely if we did, you would have recognised the discomfort written all over my face. So then you lead me to wonder, were you someone I didn’t like, have you made me feel this way before? Is that why I have reacted the way I have?
Regardless of your thoughts or intentions, here is a little bit of advice for you and all you prehistoric friends. Women don’t like to be treated this way. Even the strongest of people are vulnerable, and this kind of behaviour can have implications you obviously don’t understand. Would you like your daughter, mother or sister to be treated this way?
Note; Yesterday I visited a major hardware shop, something I do 10 times a week. Until now although always surrounded by men, this place of business has always been comfortable for me. Yesterday however, I was whistled at as I walked past some men, when I ignored it, they called my name. I have no idea who these men were, but my reaction cannot be denied. Here I am many hours and a stiff drink later and I am still shaken. I understand my name is reasonably known here where we live, but you never expect to be treated like the dog in the paddock. I am appalled that in 2016 this could and still happens. I do thank this w&*ker for at least giving grounds for conversation with our boys about what is and is not ok. But come on men, isn’t time we grew up!

Nicole xxx

Linking up with Essentially Jess

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  1. I’m so sorry to hear that you had that experience and that it shook you up so much. I really don’t understand why men think it’s ok to act that way. I hope that you are feeling much better now and that your next trip to the hardware isn’t so awful.

    1. Thank you Tegan.xx

  2. Go Nicole. You tell these imbeciles to grow up and respect women. Sorry about having to endure such rubbish from small minded people.

    1. Thank you Natalie xx

  3. Uuurgh that’s gross. A whistle is fairly easy to shrug off but when it’s followed up with your name- that is scary! Idiots. It always makes me wonder what’s happening in their own home when they feel it’s appropriate to do that kind of thing in public.

    1. So gross! I cannot understand if they did in fact know me, or if there partners/wives knew who we were surely they would understand the confused and frightened expression on my face when they called my name?!? That’s a great point you make, x

  4. No good to read this. No good at all. I hope the experience hasn’t rattled you too much lovely. Well done on writing about it and using it as an opportunity to teach others this ain’t ok. x

    1. Thank you Bec, it had to sit in drafts for an awful long time before I was able to hit publish! xx

  5. If only those Mr Bogans would read this blog post! What an unpleasant, unnecessary and scary experience for you by a completely unthinking idiot!

    1. I’ve tried so hard to figure out where this person is from, and come up with a blank, I would seriously like to stamp this on his forehead!

  6. It’s an inherently threatening and dominating behaviour. Not okay at all. It’s harassment, pure and simple. I’m sorry this happened to you.

  7. I’m so sorry to hear that happened. I can’t imagine how freaked out and creeped out you were. Shame on them for not acting like actual adults.

    1. Thank you Vanessa. x

  8. That is so not OK and I’m so sorry this happened to you. Hope that stiff drink and writing this blog post helped! Shame, Mr Bogan hasn’t got the intelligence to read it!

    1. Ha, ha, ha! So true Sammie xx

  9. Not good, not good at all. I’m so sorry that our society still allows and permits this behavior. Parents of the next generation take note: raise your children better than this ?

    1. Perfectly put Josefa, this is a problem caused by societies acceptance of this kind of our behavior. x

  10. Bloody hell Nicole, that’s absolute crap. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of a**holes around in 2016.

    1. Thanks lovely, and unfortunately you are so right.

  11. That’s outrageous Nicole, especially in 2016!!! I’m shocked there are men out there still keen to try this as they can often get the wrath afterwards. I hope if anything this awful experience makes you stronger and snarl something quick back which let’s them know this is NOT APPROPRIATE!!! xx

  12. I’m so sorry to read this Nicole. It’s awful isn’t it, to be made to feel like a piece of meat? What makes anyone think it’s ok?
    I do hope you’re feeling much better by now. xx

    1. Thank you Jess, much better now I had a rant xx

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