Dear Mr Bogan, Thank you so very much for ruining my day. I was having a wonderful day until you saw fit, to interrupt it. Tell me what is it that made you think it would be ok to treat me like a f@#King dog ready to round up the sheep? I’ve spent years dealing with my issues, I’ve packed my emotions into a neat little dealt with box, and here you are with your lude whistle unpacking it.
Mr Bogan, this is 2016! Women have not liked to be whistled at for 50 years. This time of equality does not mean I wish for you to treat me the way you want to be treated. I do not wish to be leered at and made to feel uncomfortable, in fact 99% of women never want to be made to feel this way and if they do, I am sure they will give you permission before you act.
Who are you? Why do you think when I don’t respond to your whistle, that calling out my name is going to make me feel any more comfortable, and then seeing me later in the store, you think that doesn’t make me feel scared. Clearly the confused look on my face, and the fact I all but ran away from you would be the red flag to let you know I don’t know who you are.
It’s true, I choose to work in a male dominated industry and so far I have been blessed not to feel too uncomfortable too many times, but I am floored today to have had this happen in somewhere as public as a major hardware shop. Let me say again this is 2016.
Now I am sure your intention was never to have me panicking and calling my husband to come and protect me, I am sure you never intended for me to be shaking for hours after you did this, or for the crying that followed, but what I don’t understand is what exactly you expected from this all? The truth is I didn’t expect these reactions either. So long ago I had dealt with this neat little package.
Did we know each other in a previous time in our lives? Surely if we did, you would have recognised the discomfort written all over my face. So then you lead me to wonder, were you someone I didn’t like, have you made me feel this way before? Is that why I have reacted the way I have?
Regardless of your thoughts or intentions, here is a little bit of advice for you and all you prehistoric friends. Women don’t like to be treated this way. Even the strongest of people are vulnerable, and this kind of behaviour can have implications you obviously don’t understand. Would you like your daughter, mother or sister to be treated this way?
Note; Yesterday I visited a major hardware shop, something I do 10 times a week. Until now although always surrounded by men, this place of business has always been comfortable for me. Yesterday however, I was whistled at as I walked past some men, when I ignored it, they called my name. I have no idea who these men were, but my reaction cannot be denied. Here I am many hours and a stiff drink later and I am still shaken. I understand my name is reasonably known here where we live, but you never expect to be treated like the dog in the paddock. I am appalled that in 2016 this could and still happens. I do thank this w&*ker for at least giving grounds for conversation with our boys about what is and is not ok. But come on men, isn’t time we grew up!
Nicole xxx
Linking up with Essentially Jess
